If You Are Not Willing To Change

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“If you are not willing to change, then don’t expect your life to.”

Change is notoriously difficult to carry out, especially when done alone. It requires substantial commitment of time and effort, something not most people can do. Although difficult, it certainly is not impossible, as proven by studies and people who succeeded at it.

In the 1970’s, psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente developed a model for the stages of change aptly called “transtheoretical model” or TTM. It describes the five stages necessary to bring about change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. TTM portrays change as an ongoing process that sometimes goes into relapse. But instead of treating relapse as a failure, it is considered as an unofficial sixth stage, implying that it is normal and should not be a reason to quit.

Dr. Stan Goldberg, author and change consultant, stated that “Neither commitment nor resolve are enough to change.” Since all behaviours are complex, there are certain techniques that might work for some but not for others. It is therefore important to treat it as trial and error. In his list of 10 principles necessary for successful change, he emphasized the importance of taking one step at a time and celebrating even the minor successes to develop self-esteem.

The Persian poet Rumi once said “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” One’s resolve may not be enough but it’s a good start, a stage toward changing for the better. To quote Churchill: “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”