People Think Being Alone Makes You Lonely

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People think being alone makes you lonely
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“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson

Kim Culbertson is an award-winning American fiction writer of young adult literature. She has published four books since 2007. In 2012, she won the Northern California Book Award for her second book “Instructions from a Broken Heart”. She’s also a college advisor and a creative writing teacher at Forest Charter School.

Young adult literature, or often called “YA”, revolves around the struggles of young people in their journey towards self-identity and belongingness. Recently, young adult books have become extremely popular owing to movie adaptations such as Veronica Roth’s “Divergent”, John Green’s “The Fault in Our “Stars”, and the blockbuster hit “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins—to name a few.

The quote above came from Kim Culbertson’s 2012 ebook novella “The Liberation of Max MacTrue”. It may be the typical YA romance, but it’s also about taking charge of one’s life and accepting oneself. Although it was from a YA book, the fear of loneliness transcends age. In fact, it’s a particularly serious health risk for old people. Several studies have shown the relationship of social relationships and mortality risk, even comparing loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. However, a study has also found that being around “wrong people” can do similar health risks—even greater. Being in an unhealthy relationship makes you unfulfilled and insecure instead of content and confident.

Being alone is not synonymous to feeling lonely. To quote Tanya Davis: “Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.”

Dont Wait – The Time Will Never Be Just Right

Dont wait
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“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” — Napoleon

Napoléon Bonaparte (1769-1821) was a famous French military and political leader who became the first Emperor of France in 1804. He is considered one of the greatest military commanders in history and the many snappy quotes he has left us reveal the intensity of his focus. Although many of his memorable sayings refer to the affairs of the battlefield, they can just as easily be applied as maxims to everyday life.

Napoleon’s vision was grand, if perhaps megalomaniacal – and he is considered by many to be a “flawed genius”. Conquest was his game – and at the peak of his career he had won the great majority of his 60 battles and controlled much of continental Europe. His military campaigns and strategies are still studied to this day – however it is worth noting that his defeat at Waterloo in 1815 was total, and his people turned against him, forcing him into exile.

This quote speaks for itself, essentially stating that fortune favors the one who seizes the moment. And so often it is so true. We hesitate “because we want to move when the timing is perfect” but this in itself suggests weakness. Instead, he believed it better simply to begin – and then rise to the occasion.

The quote is thus really a statement on avoidance strategies – subconscious “excuses” the mind makes to delay the feared moment of action. Deciding that the time is NOW and taking action appropriately will cut through all that mental chatter. Allons y!

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Don’t Worry About Those Who Talk Behind Your Back

Don't worry about those who talk behind your back
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This quote illustrates how people who waste their time in negative talk about others are losing their focus. To get ahead you need to move beyond petty games and concentrate on the goal. Because people will always talk.

e Personality and Social Psychology Review reported that victims of relational aggression or “covert bullying” have poorer mental health, making them more prone to depression. However, it also provides an opportunity for self-growth that could make a victim develop resilience and a deeper understanding of this phenomenon. Jane Chin PhD’s article entitled “Analyze the Situation, not the Backstabber” offers an interesting perspective on coping with “backstabbers”. She argued that psychological analysis, or understanding why one was backstabbed, is not the most effective method of coping. Instead, situational analysis should be applied to minimize the possibility of future occurrences. This is done by examining how it starts, how it spreads, and how often it happens. This way, the victim can predict and make effective steps to prevent the problem from happening again. She wrote, “a first step in dealing with backstabbing in the workplace is objective analysis of an emotionally charged situation.”

Although being betrayed is a damaging experience that can tempt one to stop trusting anyone, trusting no-one will not improve one’s life. Sherrilyn Kenyon, the author of “Invincible” advised, “Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.”