Be Strong, But Not Rude

graphic ©

“Be strong but not rude.
Be kind but not weak.
Be bold, but don’t bully.
Be humble, but not shy.
Be confident, but not arrogant.”

There are traits, like arrogance and rudeness, which impede us from finding success and having good relationships. Through self-awareness, we can identify those traits and find a way to transform them into strengths. It’s never too late to improve ourselves. But first, what are personality traits and how do we control them?

A personality can be defined as “a deep-rooted pattern of behaviour that is stable,” combining cognitive (thoughts), volitional (will), affective (emotions), and behavioural tendencies (inclinations). It is made up of two dimensions, namely temperament and character. Temperament is very hard to change since it is determined by genetic inheritance; on the other hand, character is influenced by intrinsic and extrinsic factors, thereby changeable.

The interaction and coexistence of these two dimensions produces our personality, and the resulting patterns of our behavioural tendencies are our personality traits. These traits determine how we act, think, and perceive reality.

Too much confidence can turn into arrogance and too less of it can turn into insecurity. Like everything in life, there should be balance. However, as you may already know, it’s a lifelong process that demands sincerity and commitment. Here’s the upside: we can continue tuning our personality throughout our lives to make us happier, better individuals.

The imbalances in the intensities of our traits can deeply affect how we perceive other people and how other people perceive us. A balanced personality, in which we are neither a doormat nor a rude person, can help us sail through life easily.

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