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“I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone in any way, shape or form. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before. That’s me and I am free.” – Jenny Perry
Jenny Perry is a writer, blogger, and Mojo expert who promotes self-love in her blog and in her bestselling book “Sexpot With Stretch Marks.” She currently resides at the Jersey Shore with her husband and her five children.
Perry’s main message is self-reformation and being the best person you can be without comparing yourself with other people. Having been exposed to competition in school and even at home, it is hard not to use others as benchmarks for your own worth. However, conditioning ourselves to control that emotional-dangerous impulse could help you improve and be gentler to yourself.
One disadvantage of comparing yourself to others is having a fragile self-esteem. According to studies, those who are in the habit of comparison are most likely to experience, envy, low-self confidence, depression, and doubt. Comparing leads you to either feel inferior or superior, which are both damaging to your sense of self.
Furthermore, a study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin revealed that what we see or hear from other people may already be distorted information. The study confirmed that people are less likely to show their failures or their negative emotions than the positive ones. What’s more is that people tend to overestimate other people’s fortunes or happiness. This provides unrealistic and inaccurate standards to achieve if you’re comparing yourself with them!
As Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.” When you compare yourself with others, you can only see what you lack than, not what you’ve achieved.