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“Some people may decide to hate you for no reason simply because your confidence reminds them of their insecurities.”
We can’t avoid meeting people, who for no reason, express dislike or hatred upon us. This hatred can be petrifying that it may lower our self-esteem. But the reason behind this hostility is their apprehension of being found inferior. With us in the picture, they feel threatened and thus they need to make you feel threatened. This is how fragile the human ego can be.
American actress and producer Debra Winger had it right when she said, “Most bad behaviour comes from insecurity.” We ourselves can attest to that as we have felt envy for someone once or a couple of times in our life. Psychologists say that when we feel insecure, we destroy ourselves more than the object of our envy. Insecure people are more likely to fail, miss out on good opportunities, and have unsatisfying relationships.
The impulsive way to deal with haters is to be throw them shade and make them feel even more insecure. However, this will only aggrandize their insecurities and add fuel to the fire. Instead, Ben Dattner of Dattner Consulting LLC advises, “…try to convey genuine positive regard, and start with giving them the benefit of the doubt.”
To quote Harvard Professor Teresa Amabile: “Soliciting help from them will demonstrate that it’s acceptable to admit imperfections and enhance their sense of competence.” Our primitive brain may tell us to quit or to fight back, but a better solution is to give them what they lack: confidence, support, and acknowledgement. True strength is maturity.
