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When you say “YES” to others, make sure you are not saying “NO” to yourself.
There are times when saying no is the right thing to do. However, there are factors that might compel someone to quip a weak, hesitant yes than a strong, resolute no. This inability to stand up for oneself is directly linked to the need to seek positive opinions from others.
Having self-regard means recognizing your own “voice.” Having your own voice allows you to be control your own life by having the freedom to express yourself. Being assertive in communicating your thoughts also helps in building and maintaining good relationships. It helps you get what you need and want in life and can also protect you from being taken advantage of by others.
Some people, especially females, are afraid that they might come off as aggressive by being assertive. The difference is that being assertive does not infringe on the rights of others, while being aggressive often involves violating other people’s rights or dignity. Between the two, the former is a much more effective way to standing up for yourself.
Having self-regard spares you from the debilitating effects of being a chronic people pleaser: stress, bad relationships, anxiety, depression, lack of personal identity, and burnout. When you learn how to assertively decline or refuse other people, you will become more in tuned to your own needs and wants, enabling you to take hold of your future and live the life you truly want for yourself. If you do, you’ll have more out of life and less regrets.
